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18414 U.S. 281 North
(on the northeast corner of the 281/1604 interchange)
On the lighted menu boards above the counter at Gourmet Burger Grill is a placard touting all the awards the food has won. They're mostly popularity contests orchestrated by the local newspaper or the local disreputable throwaway weekly rag. I didn't read through the whole list — it's quite long — because I don't really care about such things. (It's on their web site, too, if you feel even the least little bit curious.) Everybody has their own subjective standards by which a burger is to be judged, and I've seen enough mediocre things awarded "Best in S.A." titles to consider that crown an empty shell, a meaningless gimmick, a piffle. And I know that even reputable and presumably knowledgeable national authorities will sometimes ascribe an even loftier title to food that's merely a little better than average. No, the only way to judge food is to taste it, and compare it to what you think is superb. Today, I unleashed my skeptical taste buds on the Gourmet Burger Grill.
First, what makes it "gourmet"? I suppose they have in mind the fact that you can choose Kobe beef, or Certified Angus, or lamb or chicken, and you can choose your bread and cheese and sauce and all kinds of other things. Dictionary.com defines "gourmet" in its adjectival form as "involving or purporting to involve high-quality or exotic ingredients and skilled preparation." GBG does use, as far as I could see, high-quality ingredients, and I suppose lamb and Kobe beef are still sufficiently exotic to warrant the name. So, yeah, "gourmet" is a fair enough descriptor.
But is it good? More importantly, is it exceptional? The simple answer is, yes and no.
The place itself is clean, uncrowded, and decorated with some small aplomb: claret walls with occasional advertising posters, a couple of televisions, an uncarpeted floor, a black techno-chic ceiling set high enough to keep the hard surfaces from making the noise level unpleasant. The tables are spaced to leave room for comfort and passage. The chairs at the two-tops on either side feel flimsy and seem designed without comfort foremost in mind. If you're of average size or less, and plan to spend your mealtime surfing on your smart phone, you'll be fine leaning forward in those chairs. If you plan to have a relaxing conversation, you might want to sit elsewhere. The larger tables have chairs that are sturdier, and slightly more comfortable.
You enter from the parking lot and make your way to the counter in the rear, with gigantic fluorescently-lit menu boards above. There are those exotic items; others are more commonplace, but not ubiquitous, like sweet-potato fries and tots. In addition to an array of burger and burger-like products, they have salads, real salads, and a daily soup; unusually for a burger joint, there's also a wine list, and a selection of somewhat elaborate desserts. You can even order your burger wrapped in lettuce instead of bread.
Your order is taken by a less than ebullient employee. I think it would be unfair to call him, or the other young man we noticed, surly; let's just say they both seem preoccupied, no doubt concerned about making our dining experience pleasant. They aren't rude or cold, merely ... unsmiling. Perfectly efficient. It's like placing an order with Mr Data, and having it delivered by Mr Spock.
Having ordered, you choose your table and spend a few minutes scoping out the crowd. I noticed, to my surprise, that, at the age of 49 (again this year), I was the second-youngest patron in the dining room. There was a young woman at a table along the wall, but the rest of the crowd, which filled more than half the available seats, lived through the Cuban missile crisis. For some reason, I'd expected this borderline-New-Age burger house to be most popular among people who came into the world after Elton John came out. It apparently isn't, at least not at lunchtime.
The food itself was good enough. My hamburger meat, ordered medium rare, was exactly that way, which surprised me. I've gotten in the habit of ordering meat cooked medium rare so that it will be served medium. Had I know this kitchen actually understands the difference, I'd've ordered it medium. Well, that's a point in their favour. And the condiments were all good quality items, and fresh, from the lettuce (green-leaf, I think, or was it Romaine? I don't remember now) to the red onion. The cheddar cheese was less sharp than I would have liked, while the bacon (applewood-smoked, of course; that's de rigueur these days) was cooked right to the deliciously chewy edge of crispiness. My friend's burger, the day's special, was similarly adorned, though he was disappointed to find that the bleu cheese on it seemed but a suggestion.
The french fries we both ordered were very good, with an aroma of freshness that made me think they had been fried in oil unsullied by any previous use. I do wish, though, that they'd been allowed another half-minute in there, to give them just a bit more crunch. The buns were smaller than their contents, which I suspect is an intentional device aimed at making the burgers look bigger than they are. The burgers are plenty big; the unintended consequence of the buns' size is that they look down-sized and puny.
When I first looked over the menu, I thought the prices were a little on the high side. That is the difference between presumption and informed consideration. These burgers ain't cheap, but in my opinion, you get a good value for the prices asked, on most items, at Gourmet Burger Grill.
But is it good? More importantly, is it exceptional? The simple answer is, yes and no.
The place itself is clean, uncrowded, and decorated with some small aplomb: claret walls with occasional advertising posters, a couple of televisions, an uncarpeted floor, a black techno-chic ceiling set high enough to keep the hard surfaces from making the noise level unpleasant. The tables are spaced to leave room for comfort and passage. The chairs at the two-tops on either side feel flimsy and seem designed without comfort foremost in mind. If you're of average size or less, and plan to spend your mealtime surfing on your smart phone, you'll be fine leaning forward in those chairs. If you plan to have a relaxing conversation, you might want to sit elsewhere. The larger tables have chairs that are sturdier, and slightly more comfortable.
You enter from the parking lot and make your way to the counter in the rear, with gigantic fluorescently-lit menu boards above. There are those exotic items; others are more commonplace, but not ubiquitous, like sweet-potato fries and tots. In addition to an array of burger and burger-like products, they have salads, real salads, and a daily soup; unusually for a burger joint, there's also a wine list, and a selection of somewhat elaborate desserts. You can even order your burger wrapped in lettuce instead of bread.
Your order is taken by a less than ebullient employee. I think it would be unfair to call him, or the other young man we noticed, surly; let's just say they both seem preoccupied, no doubt concerned about making our dining experience pleasant. They aren't rude or cold, merely ... unsmiling. Perfectly efficient. It's like placing an order with Mr Data, and having it delivered by Mr Spock.
Having ordered, you choose your table and spend a few minutes scoping out the crowd. I noticed, to my surprise, that, at the age of 49 (again this year), I was the second-youngest patron in the dining room. There was a young woman at a table along the wall, but the rest of the crowd, which filled more than half the available seats, lived through the Cuban missile crisis. For some reason, I'd expected this borderline-New-Age burger house to be most popular among people who came into the world after Elton John came out. It apparently isn't, at least not at lunchtime.
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| Last city inspection: April 2011 A perfect score! |
The french fries we both ordered were very good, with an aroma of freshness that made me think they had been fried in oil unsullied by any previous use. I do wish, though, that they'd been allowed another half-minute in there, to give them just a bit more crunch. The buns were smaller than their contents, which I suspect is an intentional device aimed at making the burgers look bigger than they are. The burgers are plenty big; the unintended consequence of the buns' size is that they look down-sized and puny.
When I first looked over the menu, I thought the prices were a little on the high side. That is the difference between presumption and informed consideration. These burgers ain't cheap, but in my opinion, you get a good value for the prices asked, on most items, at Gourmet Burger Grill.
This place, according to Yelp, is now closed. The power of the Curmudgeon-About-Town
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