It's A Mystery

Taco La Gardenia
1805 North Pine Street

(between Grayson and I-35)

Somewhere --- probably in the local throwaway weekly rag, though possibly in one of the glossier publications touting this city's goings-on --- I came across a listing in one of those "Best of" rosters. You know the kind of article I'm talking about, the ones where some publisher solicits opinions from its readers, then has a big cover story giving all the winners and branding them "Best of the City." Much of it is a lot of hooey, of course. A small place with excellent product that only five hundred people know about isn't going to generate the votes of a mediocre but heavily advertised place known to thousands upon thousands. And that's before you factor in the lackluster and cavalier opinions of so large a part of any unspeciated readership.

So when I saw that this place was listed as having the best breakfast tacos in town, I was stunned. Stunned, I say, for the Curmudgeon is something of an expert on breakfast tacos here in Paradise South, and I had never heard of "La Gardenia." Well. That certainly had to put it at the top of my list of places to try. (I say that, but it's not really true; it was about halfway down the list.)

So this morning, my trusty sidekick and I made the not-too-great trek over to the Far Side of Broadway, where this taquería is nestled into the neighbourhood just south of Fort Sam: a working-class neighbourhood, I suppose some might call it, or a barrio, but let's just say it's a neighbourhood not yet fully encountered by the gentrification of the nearby Pearl area; it's still the kind of place where you can see the clientele offloading crates of empty Big Gulp cups on the street out front. But give it time. Meanwhile, let's have a taco.

The place looks perfectly ordinary, in the way of a family operation. No great expenditure was made in furnishing the place, with table-and-bench units apparently bought second-hand from a fast-food place in refurbishment. Not uncomfortable, but a little worn; our table, for example, had a decided slope to one end, and the bench appeared to be the wrong size for the metal frame, like it was just stuck on when the original equipment gave out. Beyond that, there was no decoration to speak of, but who really cares? 

Of more concern was the questionable cleanliness of the place. The saggy end of our table seemed to have bits of refritos affixed to it. The floor under the next table had not been introduced to either broom or vacuum in some time. The window sill may not have felt a sponge since the last coat of paint was applied. 

We were very cheerfully greeted by an extremely vivacious and pleasant young waitress bringing menus. (The prices it showed were in line with what you'd expect to pay for food of this sort.) It quickly became clear that English was her second language, a hopeful sign in any ethnic restaurant (as long as the first language matches the restaurant's identity; who is buoyed by a German waiter at a Thai restaurant?).  Excellent coffee soon followed, and not long after that, food.

The food --- the sine qua non of restaurant dining --- was something of a hit-or-miss affair. The coffee, as I said, was excellent, as were the tortillas in which our taco fillings were wrapped. (We went for flour tortillas because, according to a strictly grammatical reading of the menu, they are made in-house while the corn tortillas are not.) The picadillo, too, was above-average. The red salsa on the table was muy picoso, almost too hot to stand. It kind of goes downhill from there.

Last city inspection: September 2013
10 demerits
What's them chili peppers all about?

My friend's beef fajita taco, which I didn't try, was reported to be "missing something." I don't know what that means, exactly, so take it as you wish. My machacado taco would have gotten a solid B- in any underfunded public school. The veggies were fresh and thoroughly cooked, the egg nicely scrambled, but it seemed like there wasn't a whole lot of carne in the mix. You don't get that essential chewiness without the eponymous shreds of beef, and there just wasn't enough of that to satisfy.

The chilaquiles at La Gardenia are done in a style I'm not accustomed to; I would probably have been happier with a migas taco. This had a sauce that gave them the dark red colour I usually associate with chili con carne. There was abundant chili powder in the mix, but not enough to overwhelm. A dusting of queso blanco added a familiar and much appreciated note, but the chiliaquiles themselves --- the fried corn tortilla pieces that give the dish its name --- tasted like nothing so much as Frito's brand corn chips. That is the unfortunate takeaway from this dining experience.

So how did a place like this come to be on anyone's "Best of the City" list? It wouldn't make my Top Ten. Even with the attached bakery.

Taco La Gardenia on Zomato